


Diaries

by baosjk89



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-05-21
Updated: 2014-05-29
Packaged: 2018-01-26 00:59:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1668878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baosjk89/pseuds/baosjk89
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>If it was a competition, love or tragedy, that none of them knew. <br/>Hanna and Kimi could only say that competed for the love of the same person, but they aren't sure that  they get what they wanted.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

To Hanna, Kimi wasn't a good influence to her Seb.  
She wasn't ingenuous to the point of thinking that her boyfriend was all smiles and flowers.

Of course he wasn't.

But Seb was and is her constant since they're kids, and year after year more agressive and cold he became.

His smiles ... all fakes.  
His sincerity ... all planned.

Of course the big motivator was the same RedBull that brought so many glories, everything started with that dammed program for young drivers. The results had to be delivered, and then when Seb finally showed them how good he really was, it started to get worse ...   
His confidence, his pride, and the envy of others.  
She saw it all, she stood away only giving support when she saw that it was truly needed.  
Her Seb didn't need help from others.

But her detachment didn't last long thanks to one man.

Kimi was ...   
in everything...   
in every place...

And Seb could not stop talking about him.   
How good, how amazing Kimi was.  
She couldn't help but feel a little jealous.  
To her it was kind of strange, because when Seb finally started in a big team, she thought that she should be aware of other womens, and now she felt threatened by a man.

An taciturn, boring, man.  
But despite all his faults, Kimi had a carisma that few could explain.  
How can she compete against Kimi?  
The worse was that Kimi probably didn't even know about her jealousy, and even so was becoming a more constant presence in their lifes.

"Kimi it...Kimi that...Kimi did...Kimi does..."

She didn't know with who she was more angry, if with Seb and his constant blabbling about the Finn, like a high school girl with a crush. Or if with the Finn, that sole existence was infuriating.   
She didn't care about F1, it was part of Seb's life, she simply learned to live with it, but despite it, she had seen the Finn before.

So rude...  
So disrespectful ...

And the man she saw didn't fit the man Seb described.   
And ironically it made her want to see more, to know more, and it was her biggest mistake.  
When she started to watch, she saw how different Kimi was with Seb, he was always smiling, his eyes showed only kindness ... he moved away from the others, but sought Seb's company.

After so many years, sitting on the sofa while holding their daughter in her sleep, she saw them on the tv, the years now visible in their faces and eyes, but the smile, the happiness to be close to each other still there ... intact.  
And it was on those days that she questions herself.

Was she right when she sought for more?  
Was she right when she tried to understand what those two had?  
Was she right to tried to let everyone happy?

Looking at the baby in her arms she would say 'yes'  
Looking at the television, she would say 'sure'  
Listening to her heart ... that was when she doubted of her own choices.

 

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

He was enamored by the boy...

Of course in the beggining the kid was just another face among many others.  
He didn't knew his name and didn't worry know it. He thought the kid had no personality, a product ... the kid was incapable of choosing a helmet's design for God's sake!

But his perception of the kid changed rather quickly.

First, the kid got balls.  
Second, he was truly good.  
And for last, the kid didn't hesitate to approach him, didn't show fear of him, neither thought of him as some demigod on earth, in fact, the kid came smiling and even his famous cold stare couldn't stop him, the kid got close raised his hand and with conviction said

'I'm Sebastian Vettel, it's a pleasure to meet you'

So formal...  
So fake...

Kimi didn't like this kind of persona, it had PR writing all over of it.   
But then again he couldn't blame the kid to be like this. At least the kid had courage and hadn't run away when he was rude, and this fact had caught his attention, but still, he had chosen not to waste his time trying to know the newbies, most of them do not stayed much longer anyway.  
But then again, that kid didn't lowered his hand until he grab it and shake it, the kid didn't give up, and Kimi didn't make his life easy, he really made the kid stay there with his hand raised, like a idiot.   
And that perseverance, that unwillingness to accepted the defeat was what made Kimi give him what he wanted...  
A handshake...  
A simply thing, but significant enough to show him that a kid like that onewould not be crushed and kicked out so easily, still...

... Why the kid won't go away and bother someone else ?...

Despite his annoyance the kid really left ??a good a impression, so Kimi couldn't really say he was surprised when the kid started to show his petty and ruthless side on the track.

No, he wasn't surprised ...   
He was strangely happy ...   
To Kimi, the kid wasn't a kid anymore, he earned the right, he showed what he want...he now is a name.  
A kid is just another young wannabe driver full of stupid dreams about glory and victories and Sebastian was a driver to be recognized...

Kimi felt that it was the moment when the things started to change...the first time his heart beat faster...  
But the reason why, that he didn't really understand. That strange feeling that he was constantly feeling after every triumph that Seb achieved, he felt like he had triumphed as well .

The jokes, the critics, Seb wasn't bothered by that, he simply got in the car and won, and in the podium he raised his finger to everyone to see and looked into the eyes of the ones that doubted him. And Kimi saw that Seb's smile wasn't only happiness, it was revenge.

Even when Seb wasn't so sucessfull, when he preferred to not let someone else win if he couldn't do it, Kimi couldn't feel angry or dissapointed. In fact every life lesson told him Seb was wrong, but every fiber of his being was happy, he felt satisfied to see Seb get what he wanted.

That wasn't normal he thought.  
But he was never normal to begin with.

So little by little he and Sebastian become... something.

It was natural.

They talked, walked, ate lunch and traveled together.   
And during all this time it simply didn't passed on his mind that Seb could have a girlfriend. To Kimi Seb didn't have this part of his life, he never saw Seb as a sexual being, it never crossed his mind if Seb was virgin or not, if he had or have a girlfriend. So when Seb told him about her, he never felt so much trouble to hide his emotions.

"What? How? When?"

At first he felt betrayed.  
Then he rationalized it, he was married for God's sake. Seb had all the rights to have a girlfriend, doesn't he?  
Seb has needs too, others needs apart talk, eat and play ... but such thing simply didn't fit in Kimi's head, it's Seb, his young, playful, innocent, Seb ... his friend...  
But then again, was he really his friend?

Kimi lost some his doubt when they started to live close to each other, that was the moment he had conviction that they more than just acquaintances. But even now living so close to each other, having dinner together, keeping each other company and sleeping in each other house when it was too late to return to their own house, Kimi had not seen the girlfriend.

Was Seb lying to him?  
Why he can't meet her?  
Kimi was so sure and confident of his role in Seb's life... he was part of it, he shouldn't feel unsure to ask, but he almost felt afraid of show jealousy of a woman he didn't even know... but why should he continuing to torturing himself with the curiosity?

What he didn't expected was that Seb would be so happy to talk about her and organize for them to meet.  
In the end he didn't meet her, but thanks to Seb's love and enthusiasm over his girlfriend, he could say he know her even without seen her.

Part of him was so proud, his friend, his Seb, so mature, so loving, really had found someone that from what he gather truly loved him.  
But the other part wasn't so happy.  
He after so many years didn't felt like he had found the same cumplicity, the same love and dedication on a person, something that Seb had found so early on his life.

And maybe he let it show, maybe he indirectly told it to Seb.  
It didn't matter, what mattered was that Seb looked right into his eyes and angry told him that he was there for him, he cared, his door was always open for him.

Kimi could just look at Seb. He felt unable to find words to answer, so he punch Seb in the shoulder and told him to stop acting like a woman.  
But deep down, he realised that what he felt was more than friendship.

He was enamored with Seb...


	3. Chapter 3

She didn't know how it come to this. Seb was talking to her, telling her that they have a new member in the team, and that it's about time for her to meet his new physio, Heikki was his name, he also said that Heikki was a tyrant but that he felt that they had a lot in common and should get along pretty well.

\- So you think I'm tyrant too?

\- No. But you can be a very scary woman when you want to be.

And then he asked her to wait, Seb was all smiles, he turned around and started to say things that didn't make make sense.  
What kind of language was that?  
Her doubts ended as soon as she heard that monotone voice.

Raikkonen was there, sitting, waiting for something or someone. Her only doubt was why the man was in RedBull living area and not Ferrari's.  
Then she noticed he was waiting for Seb. And she also noticed that she was being completly ignored.  
Had passed seconds or minutes after she felt isolated, she didn't really know, to her it took ages to Raikkonen finally warn Seb of her presence.

A small part of her felt like dying. Seb didn't notice anything, it was Raikkonen who had to remember Seb of his own girlfriend.  
And after all of that, they only get a confused Sebastian, looking around searching for something, before coming close to her and give her a kiss and saying that he was going to get Christian, Britta, Rocky and Heikki since they didn't appearedyet.

Since when it was so many people?  
Wasn't it only Heikki?

And to get the things worse, Raikkonen appeared to be in the list of people that Seb had gathered, for something that he didn't tell her about.

So there they were.  
She and the Iceman, left alone by the one that brought them together.

She sat down on the bench, and took a time to really look at the man.  
What people saw on him?   
His nose looks broken. His ears are strange. His hair and mouth too delicate. Those eyes unnerving. And those tattoos ... horrible.

\- So...?

And that a brought back to reality.   
Oh God he caught her staring at him.  
Do something...  
Do something...

\- So.

And both of them stood there looking at each other.   
Both of them in doubt of what to do.  
No sudden movements, they say.  
But why be so cautious?   
It's not like they didn't know who they are.

Hanna knew the "cool, honest, down to earth, awesome ... Kimi".

Kimi knew the "sweet, beautiful, woman of my life ... Hanna"

Seb wasn't capable of shutting his mouth when he was talking about them to themselves.  
But despite it, they never really meet, never stood face to face, never exchanged more than a few words.  
So that moment was quite uncomfortable for both of them.

Hanna felt that Kimi won't start a conversation, and herself didn't mind it, she could stay in silence quite well.

Kimi didn't want to talk, what could he say?   
He didn't have nothing to share, apart from Seb, they had nothing in common. But at least the woman didn't show the need to talk, that itself was a blessing.

She could felt his icy cold eyes on her.   
How could Seb say that Kimi was sweet, funny and emotional was beyond her understand.   
The man in front of her was nothing like that, she felt like he wanted to break her just by looking at her. But if he thinks she would get annoyed or unnerved and leave, he was really wrong. Being Seb's girlfriend had taught her one or two things about being stubborn and competitive.

He didn't get that damn woman, he was bored, no magazines to read, cellphone with low battery, and that woman looking at him.  
So Kimi did what he does best, he stared at her too, many have say that he has a quite unnerving eyes, so he gave to Hanna a taste of his annoyance.  
But the woman just stared back at him, she didn't back off, she didn't leave the room, instead she leaned forward, narrowed her eyes and stared at him.  
Challenging him.   
How dare she?!   
There is no away in hell that brat, girl, woman ... whatever ... was the sweet, generous, altruistic woman that Seb always told him about.   
She was ... something else ... and she was looking for a fight. Or so it seems.

Hanna felt the need to get close, she knew that her eyes didn't have such presence, but she knew that she can make her resolution more evident using her body, being incisive.  
So she narrowed her eyes and tried to summon all her energy to send a clear message to that damn Finn ... back off old man!

Kimi won't give that woman the satisfation of a challenge. If she want a fight, she wont have one.   
He won't give her the pleasure, so he leaned on the wall, olled his eyes, and went to look elsewhere, and his best poker face.   
Maybe if she think that she won, she probably should leave him alone.  
She don't deserve his time or energy. Seb didn't say anything about have to talk to his girlfriend, in fact he didn't say anything at all. Kimi felt that he was quite a gentleman to Hanna, that's her name, doesn't? Well it doesn't matter anyway. After all he could be an asshole when he wanted to, but he chose to be indifferent. She is luckier than she can possibly think.

That rude man ignored her!   
He was the one that started it and now he back off?   
No way!  
Wait ... she wanted him to back off. So, she won!  
No, no, he did it deliberately, not because of her.

So she leaned against the wall too and started to make noises with her mouth.  
How long can will you stay cool, Iceman?

She is doing it on purpose.   
Why she is doing it?   
Why they're doing it?   
What they could possible win with it?

But if she think that he was going to let it go, just because it doesn't make sense, she was wrong, they are alone with nothing better to do. She may think it is a competition, a dispute, but he was just amusing himself.   
Go Hanna, let me see you squirm trying to make me lost control of my emotions.

She got to admit, he is quite a adversarie.  
In fact something was telling her that he was finding it amusing to see her try to make him lose his cool. But she was having quite a fun with it too, and she was sure that she can make him lose it... she won't stop, not until he fails.  
Seb always said that she was an angel with a heavenly patience, so she used her so called divine powers, and started to make all kind of irritating noises. She got to admit that she almost lose hope, but then she could swear she saw Kimi left eye trembling.  
Haha Iceman, now I'm sure you're missing your sunglasses.

Why did'nt she stop it?   
He take back what he say about not having anything better to do, he could be taking a nap, but now he got to listen to that childish noises, from that childish woman.  
No, he wont give her the satisfaction of speak to her, or get mad at her.   
He is better than that. Only Seb know how to push his buttons.

Kimi tried everything, but she was getting on his nerves.  
You know...  
If you can't win them, you should join them.   
Kimi was certain that she wasn't expecting such action.

Hanna could felt that she was there, she was close, she could even start a countdown.   
Kimi will snap in five, four, three, two, one...  
What?  
He smiled?  
That wasn't the only strange thing, he also make a noise too.  
So she send another one, and he counter attack, smiling the entire time.  
Why?  
And his smile got bigger and bigger and bigger.

Wait a minute ... he showed something so this mean ...

Yes, she stop with wide eyes and no reaction, so he...

\- I WON!

\- I WON!

That was strange.   
They felt that they were thinking of the same thing.

\- Let's it call ...

\- ... a draw.

But a draw about what exactly?   
She keep thinking that he was playing with her, only to realise that he was smiling, truly smiling at her. He even offered her his bottle. She didn't want and she wasn't thirsty, but accept it anyway. She took a sip and returned it to him.

She notice that his moviments are delicated, maybe that was the wrong word, but it felt like he was careful, deliberate calm and elegant.

And then she notice why her Seb likes Kimi so much.  
His eyes always hidden or showing only boredom, are capable of being kind and sincere.  
His smile, so rare, could show how honestly happy he was.   
And for all his abruptness, he showed care and something akin of love to her just because she did something so simple as being kind and grateful to a kind and spontaneous action.

But as fast as his face showed all of it, it all dissapeared. He gave her a 'hummpf', leaned against the wall and pretending to be sleeping.

She just stayed there, looking at him, or at the wall, or at the ceiling, until she felt a hand on her shoulder, she looked and saw that it belong to Seb.  
He was touching her shoulder, but was looking at Raikkonen and said to what she believed to be no one.

\- He is one of kind.

She didn't know what she should feel about it.   
She was upset and sad because she never saw Seb look at her like that, but it looked like Kimi didn't know about how Seb saw him either, she really believe that the Finn simple holds dearie the ones that show the same to him. And that it had nothing to do with the feelings that he may have or not, to Seb.  
But still, seeing Seb look at him, it was too overwhelming to her, she couldn't stay there.

But when she was getting up to leave, the hand on her shoulder become firmer, Seb turned her and said with the same kindness

\- Just like you. That's why you two are so important to me...and Hanna... you're my first and you will be my last. I don't want you to leave my side, never.

She could felt her eyes becoming wet, she tried to think of something, say something, but nothing came.  
Just hold it together woman!

\- Are you crying?

\- No! ... You left me in this bright room, my eyes are getting irritated. Go wake up the sleeping beauty and let's go , I'm starving , and I have a lot to talk with Britta .

She made her way to meet with the others , but from afar she swore she heard Seb say.

\- I don't want you to leave me. I wish I could have both.

She decides to ignore it .  
She will not spoil the rest of the night because of it. Furthermore, Kimi appears to be a nice guy .

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't like this chapter. Something seems off to me, but here he was.  
> Maybe you guys like it.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if I will continue it.  
> I have some texts saved in a folder of this fic that I simply abandoned and now I decided to post it here.  
> I have three parts... let's see.  
> Hope you guys likes.


End file.
